In My Life
by jillygurl777
Summary: First fic ever and my summary is absolute crap but the story is much better promise! For as long as I can remember John Lennon has been in my life, he has been my rock, my consoler, but most of all my brother at heart.
1. Chapter 1

Claire's POV

For almost as long as I can remember John Lennon has been in my life. He has been my rock, my consoler but most of all my brother at heart.

I was born in a average house with a average family but most of all a happy one in Ohio, USA. When I was five my mother was killed in a car accident leaving me and my father on our own. I remember the devastation and weeping for days once it really sunk in. My father was strong for a month or two then he turned to drink. He started drinking so much there wasn't a minute when he wasn't drunk out of his mind. Which resulted in him getting fired from his job within six months.

For about a month or two we lived on the streets with a bucket and cardboard sign reading "Out of Work, Out of Food and a child to care for". With seeing a small and at that point extremely skinny five year old with big doe eyes we got lots of donations. Which of course my dad spent almost all on his whiskey and would get a loaf of bread once a week and a bottle of water every day for us to share.

Finally after those horrible months my dad found work as a engineer in Liverpool, England. My dad actually managed to cut back on drinking for awhile so we could save enough money to ride the plane there. I remember thinking, "This will be just like starting over for both of us.

Daddy will stop drinking and we will be very happy." In my naive mind I thought since it was a new place and dad seemed to be getting better once we step off the plane it will be all hunky dory. I was far from the truth.

When we got there my dad found out that he had to work at night only on Monday-Thursday. So my dad poured as much whiskey down his throat as he could during the day time and when he got off work on Thursdays he would come home grab something out of shoe box and a hunk of cash. And stay out for hours and hours.

One day, my father had come home drunk (nothing out of the usual) and I had run up to hug him but I had tripped on my shoelace resulting in knocking over two or three bottles of whiskey and brandy. My father immediately raced over to me and gave me a incredibly hard slap across the face and being only five or six and very tiny I flew across the room, hitting my head on a cabinet and then he proceeded to kick me for what must have been hours yelling a string of curses. He then stopped in absolute exhaustion spit on me and raced out the door. It was at that moment, while lying on the kitchen floor unable to move that I realized I needed to fear my father.

God knows how long after I managed to get myself up and clean all of the cuts and observe the forming bruises. I got very angry so I ran outside and just kept running until I was drawn to a place. It was a fence with "Strawberry Fields" written on it. I hesitantly walked through the gates and just soaked in the utter beauty of it. I had just positioned myself under a tree and closed my eyes when I heard a voice.

"Hello," a boy said.

"Hi," I responded with a curious look on my face.

"My names John, and yours?"

"Claire" I said with a smile

"How old are you Claire?" the boy asked

"I am six years old" I muttered shyly

"I am eight years old." he said with confidence

There was a long pause I did not know what to say, I have always been shy around people I don't know which is a characteristic that I still have and dread to this day.

"Well," John said "what are you doing here all alone?"

I panicked completely I had to pick something fast I figured I could just tell the half truth.

"I was um...exploring," I said with great uneasiness

"That's fun! I go here when I get angry," John said

"Why are you angry?"

" My aunt punished me," John responded suddenly loosing his confidence

I was going to ask why is aunt punished him not his mom or dad. I then remembered that I did not have a mom and I would not want anyone asking me about that so I decided against it.

"You can sit next to me here if you like," I said with a smile

He then smiled and came and sat down. We then talked about our favorite books and I told him what life was like in America (leaving out a few key details of course).

That was the beginning of an extremely special relationship.


	2. Chapter 2

December 1958

A lot has changed since then. I am now sixteen which puts me in year eleven, John is eighteen and out of the hell hole known as Quarry Bank High School. A lot has stayed the same. My dad is still a drunk bastard who beats me senseless whenever her gets the chance. But one thing, or person rather, makes everything so much easier. John.

Most people wouldn't expect it from him, with his tough guy act that he puts on around other people but we can let our guards down when around each other. He also comes from a awful background which he told me all about a couple years ago. I decided to keep the details of my...story, I guess you would call it, to myself. I knew to do this because as I got older I started getting more attention from guys you know getting asked on dates and little perverts yelling things as I walked past them, and every time something like that happened in front of John I would have to practically hold him down to stop him from flinging himself at them. He has always been very protective of me. So I knew he would kill my dad if be found out half the things he did to me.

It didn't help when I got a boyfriend. Josh is a guy I met at a party, I usually wouldn't go for the bad boy/player type, but something just made me say yes when he asked me to the pictures.

Unfortunately, John knew Jack or knew of him. When John passed by us while we were kissing John sprinted over and was ready to throw a punch at him when I took his arm and pulled him aside. That was the first time John ever yelled at me, and boy did he yell! He kept saying how he was no good, how he would hurt me in the end and lots of other things along those lines, he then apologized for yelling at me and told me that I deserved the best and Josh wasn't the best. I managed to convince him that I was perfectly capable of taking care of myself and he walked away with a huff and a disapproving glare toward Josh.

Josh wasn't a bad boyfriend. He did hit me and push me around but I had to remind myself that it was nothing compared to what my dad did to me and I was lucky that I had him. He loves to go to clubs, that's not really my cup of tea but I go to make him happy. The bad part is whenever he goes he gets mad drunk and lots of times forgets about me and takes home other girls. I learned to deal with it, because I knew it wasn't love it was just sex to him.

Today was my last day before winter break and when that last class finally ended I must of been out of the school within three minutes! I was going to see John practice with his band. It has been two weeks since I had seen John, which is the longest I have ever gone without seeing him. I had to avoid him because my dad gave a nasty beating for moving his beer that was beyond covering with makeup. So now that my wounds healed some and I had a good amount of powder on my face I can finally see him.

I swung his gate open and knocked on his door, to my surprise John's Aunt Mimi opened the door. If she was not working she would be sure to be out while John was playing "that godawful sound that will get you nowhere in life". Mimi has always been a strict person but she had a heart and she seemed to take a liking to me more and more as the years went by, I think she was just happy John maintained a relationship. She saw that it was me and her mouth curved up slightly at the edges.

"Oh hello Claire dear,"

"Hello Mimi are the boys here?"

"Yes, which is exactly why I am on my way out you can show yourself in and run down to the basement."

"Thanks,"

Immediately after I step in the door I hear the sound of three guitars and John's lovely voice singing the lead with two of his band mates singing the back up. Paul and George were just like my brothers we clicked but we weren't as close as John and I. Pete was another story he always seemed moody and just not interested but I was friendly to him.

I tip toed down the basement stairs not wanting to disturb the music. I leaned against the wall and just watched them play. John was hitting each note perfectly along with the other boys. I knew they would make it big one day.

When they hit the last notes I broke into applause and shouted "whoos" and "yeahs". I saw John look up and grin. He got up and ran over to me and threw me over his shoulder.

"I've got one!" He yelled sarcastically. While I was hitting his back laughing hysterically as he ran the both of us around the room.

He finally put me down and wrapped his arm around my waist leading me back to the other boys.

"How do you do Miss Jones?" He asks with a mock posh accent

"I am quite well kind sir and you?" I respond with the same accent

"I'm great," he says looking at me with a smile returning to his normal voice.

I free myself from his strong arms around my waist and run over to George and Paul and give them both a bear hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Where have you been?" George and Paul say simultaneously, smiling

"Um...busy" I say nervously and I get even more nervous when I see John look at me with a doubtful face.

"We'll it's about time you come back to one of our practices! We've missed you!" George says with a grin.

"I missed you guys to." I respond sincerely "Well, come on I came to see you guys practice!"

"You mean you don't care about talking with us?" Paul says with a mock hurt expression.

"Of course not! You teddy boys are nothing but trouble and I need to stay away from the likes of you!" I respond while sarcastically scolding him while pointing my finger at him.

"Maybe you should stay away from Josh then." John cuts in with a serious tone.

I turn to look at him with my smile now gone and notice he is staring at my left arm. I look down to see that the sleeve had gotten rolled up halfway revealing countless bruises and deep scratches caused by a mixture of Josh and mostly my dad.

With a sudden feeling of panic I roll my sleeve down and give a look with combination of pleading, anger and sadness.

John's POV

I couldn't believe what I saw. Her forearm was covered with gashes and dark, huge bruises I could tell they went up and down her entire arm by seeing half of a huge bruise where her sleeve stopped.

I wanted to get up and strangle whoever did this to my beautiful Claire. I already had a pretty good idea as to who did.

That son of a bitch Josh. I knew he was a bastard but I didn't realize he was capable of doing such awful things to such a kind, beautiful girl. He didn't deserve her, not in the least. She should be with someone who would never hurt her, someone who would always tell her how beautiful she is, someone like me.

God, what am I thinking I am looking into this poor girls eyes on the verge on tears and I am thinking about how to woo her.

"Well," George said interrupting me from my thoughts "Paul and I have lots to do so we should get going. Shouldn't we Paul?"

"What? We have nothing to...oh yeah we have that thing with Mike and that other thing afterwards with...that one guy." Paul says looking in different directions before scurrying out the door leaving me alone with Claire.

Suspense! Please tell me what you think and thank you to everyone for your kind reviews they mean a lot and make me want to keep updating!


	3. Chapter 3

**Johns POV**

We just stared at each other for a long while, neither of us really knowing what to say. Eventually she went over and sat on the couch, walking right past me and looked at her lap. I sat on the coffee table across from her and stared into her beautiful blue eyes. Beautiful as they may be, I could see the pain reflected in them. As much as I wanted to take that pain away from her I knew I couldn't.

She has always been so private. Even around me which makes sad and frustrated at the same time. I have told her everything about me, I have introduced her to my Aunt and even my mom. I have let her in completely but she still has not told me a single thing about her life apart from her living in America. Does she not trust me? I don't know. I wonder if she has told Josh about her life. At the thought of that sick bastard I cringed. Then I felt a rush if anger building up inside me I can't imagine him hurting her or anyone hurting her.  
"I'll kill him you know, just say the word and I'll do it." I said breaking the silence.  
"Kill who?" She asked with her voice cracking at the end.  
"You know perfectly well who," I responded. She looked up at me she still seemed confused.  
"That goddamned bastard, Josh! For Christ sakes Claire you could have told me! I just want to help you, be there for you but I can't do that, can I when you don't tell me a goddamned thing!" I say losing my temper, practically screaming. I regretted yelling at her instantly when I saw the look on her face. Fear.  
"Just talk to me," I say with a much softer tone  
She takes a deep breath and talks so quietly I can barely hear her,  
"Josh doesn't hurt me nearly as much as him,"

**Claire's POV**

I knew I was going to have to tell him at some point. I saw that he was concerned and frankly I was sick of keeping everything bottled up inside. I know I should have confined in John earlier but I was just afraid I knew John would react horribly to the whole mess with my father and Josh. But I knew I had to tell him right now before he blew his top off or just got annoyed with me and left me behind like everyone else.

I took a deep breath and told him everything and I mean everything. I had to stop every once in awhile to wipe some tears or just have a quick sob. This was the first if me telling anybody this. By the time I was done it already 6:00 and I felt as though a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Then I felt a terrible sadness about...just everything. That's when I broke down completely. I just cried and cried  
something I haven't been able to do for a long time.

John looking shocked, understandably considering what I had just told him, immediately he scooped me up and put me on his lap. I continued sobbing into the crook of his neck while he held me and rubbed my back. I managed to pull myself together, when I realized that my tears and all the wiping of my face had washed off my makeup.

I got up quickly and made a bee line for the bathroom so he didn't see my face, I was uncomfortable enough with him seeing that bit of my arm. I was close to the door when I felt a firm grip on my arm.

"Where are you going?" He asked softly  
"I just need to get something," I respond without looking back at him.

I have always been a hopeless liar, so John saw right through it. He spun me around and when he saw my face his face went from confused to angry to sad. He pulled me into a hug which lasted for about ten minutes before he broke it and looked me in the eyes,

"You should have told me," he said with a voice that sounded like he was holding back his own sobs.  
"I know,"  
"I'm here for you, you know"  
"I know" There was a silence  
"Please don't hurt Josh or my dad," I say  
"What reason do I not have to snap both of their necks?" He responds  
"My dad is the only family I've got, and as bad as it sounds I need a roof over my head and food to eat if you ever did anything to him he would kick me out without a second thought, and Josh he may seem bad but I love him," I respond choosing my words carefully

When I said that I loved Josh I saw Johns face fall. I knew he had strong feelings about him and they have probably tripled. After another long silence John spoke,

"Why do you love him?" He asked quietly

I searched my brain for an answer but I couldn't seem to find one. Why did I love him? Whenever he was around I was in constant fear that I would slip up and he would hit me. He sleeps with other girls said things to me that would make anyone feel like crap on a daily bases and yet I say that I love him?

"Honestly, I don't know." I say  
"Claire, I love you so much, Josh he...he's a dick. You shouldn't be with him. Before you protest and say that he is fine, I know he is not and if you need confirmation just look in the mirror you said it yourself, you don't know why you love him. Leave him. You have been through enough shit to last you a life time you don't need a bastard like him giving you any more." He says

I stay silent for awhile just thinking. I have no idea what I should do and I know I am going to be having a lot of sleepless nights.

"I'm gonna go home, I have a lot of thinking to do,"  
"Can I walk you home?"  
"No my dad will be there and he doesn't know about you so it's best I go by myself,"  
"Okay"

**Johns POV**

Hearing how much pain Claire has been through felt like a knife through my heart. The worst part is she has managed to go through it alone. All I want is for her to be happy. When she talked about her dad being home I got worried I got worried instantly. I don't know how often he hurts her but with the way she described it, it seems like whenever he lays eyes on her.

I needed to do something. I needed to help her. She does not deserve to be out through this shit and it makes me so angry that she has to. Yet she manages to ask me not to hurt them.

She is beautiful, funny, caring, sweet and she doesn't have a bad bone in her body. And yet she has two people in her life. Two people who hurt her, make her feel like shit and one of them uses her for sex.

That's when I made a vow to myself that I would save her from whatever comes at her I will try to make her as happy as humanly possible.

**Sorry guys, I know that chapter was super depressing, they won't always be like that I promise! Thank you once again for those kind reviews and I would love to get more!**


	4. Chapter 4

Claire's POV

When I got home that night I was greeted by my father passed out on the couch with a bottle next to him and a broken lamp not far away. With a sigh I cleaned up the lamp and I learned my lesson about touching any of my dad's drinks so I left the bottle there. I went upstairs and took a long shower. I usually tried to take a very quick shower and get dressed twice as fast because often times my dads "friends" crash here and try to take a peak and sometimes a grab. But it seems as though the house was empty so I just let the warm water run down my skin and I just shut my eyes.

I thought about what John said to me. I thought about every is single word that came out of his mouth, and just considered what he was saying. Should I leave Josh? I know he probably shouldn't hurt me or sleep around for that matter but I know he loves me, or I think he does at least. You usually don't hurt people you love at such a level. I need to see him so I can sort everything out. Before I make any decisions I have to see him.

The next morning I got up, got dressed and did my hair and make up. I was going to pick up some lunch for Josh and I then stop by his house and talk to him.

I went to a local deli and got us a couple of ham sandwiches and some crisps. I started to make my way down to his house. I let myself in, as I always did by his request, and started to make my way upstairs when I heard moans. I bulleted up the rest of the stairs and swung his door open. He was in bed with another woman.

I knew he did it. I just never wanted to see it. I also thought he only did it when he was drunk and he never went out for drinks before seven it was only noon.

I stood in horror, then I backed my way out of the room and as quietly as I could, shut the door. I decided to stay and talk to him about it. So I went downstairs and waited. It took everything in me not to cry. I knew if I cried I wouldn't be able to stop then be would come down and see me crying, he always got angry when I cried so he would probably just hit me.

When it was finally over I heard footsteps coming down the stairs and then Josh leading whoever that girl was to the door and what he said to her made my insides go numb,

"I missed you so much and that made up for it, can't wait to see you again, I love you"

Now I knew he had not just had sex with other women but he had an ongoing relationship with at least one other. And he loved her.

I went from confused to angry to sad. My confidence is very fragile, I am insecure about lots of things. Lots of my insecurities rooting from Josh's harsh words. But now it just shattered into a million pieces. I am not enough for him, I'm not good enough, that's why he has to get other girls.

Then it hit me. I don't love Josh. He pushed me, hit me, made me feel like a load of shit and on top of that, slept with other women. If I stayed with him much longer I will be ruined, physically and mentally.

I still have had a warm feeling in my heart, an excitement for a long time but it wasn't for Josh it was for someone else, someone who cares about me, someone who would never hurt me, someone I have known all my life; John.

I am in love with my best friend. I guess I always have been but I just hadn't realized it. Thinking about him gave me butterflies when he looked at me my day would become better.

My thoughts were interrupted by a voice,

"Now what the hell do you think your doin' here?" Josh said annoyed

"I have something important to tell you," I said and then took a deep breath

"We'll hurry up and tell me I have stuff going in,"

"I'm leaving you," I said sternly

"No," he responded plainly

"Excuse me?"

"No your not leaving me" he said as if it was the simplest thing in the world

"Yes I am, have a nice life Josh," I said while grabbing my bag and heading toward the door

I was stopped by a firm grip on my arm

"I said your not leaving me and that is what your going to do, so stop being a bitch and listen," he said through clenched teeth.

He was about to strike me but somehow I managed to get free and run down the road. He was gone. I don't have to put up with his abuse anymore. For now at least. I decided to walk and I found my way to a familiar place. Strawberry Fields.

I stepped through the gates and sat down under the same tree I had when I first went there. I closed my eyes and thought about everything and when my thoughts wandered to Josh I started to get very emotional. I felt tears forming in my eyes. Whether they were tears of joy from getting away from him, of tears of sadness from all that he has done to me, I do not know.

I couldn't hold them in much longer and I let out a sob. Then I just went into hysterics when I felt a familiar arm wrap around my shoulders.

I looked up to see John staring down at me with worried eyes. I wanted to reassure him that I was fine so I gave him a weak smile, he still wasn't convinced. So I decided to tell him.

"I left him,"

He looked greatly relieved then he pulled me into the biggest hug on the planet and kissed the top of my head.

That's another reason why I love John so much, he knows how to take care of me. It makes me sad knowing he probably doesn't see in me what I see in him.

**Well hoped you liked it! Review please and tell me if you like where the story is going or not. I'll update as soon as I can (if you want me to keep going). Oh and sorry for such a short chapter **


	5. Chapter 5

Johns POV

I don't think I have ever been more relieved than when she told me she left him. But I wasn't completely at ease. I knew the worst of her beatings came from that shitty excuse for a father. I also was quite worried about how Josh would take it, I wasn't worried for his well being in the least, the prick could get hit by a bus for all I care, I was worried if he would hurt Claire.

Josh and I were kind of rivals even before he started seeing Claire. I knew him he knew me and we just didn't exactly get along. We hung out with two different groups of people and we just hated each other! It's funny though because the side that most people see of me is someone who is just like Josh. So most people I hang out with and most people Josh hangs out with are quite similar. The only difference is that Josh was a dick all the time I knew when to turn that off. So you can see why I was less than pleased when I saw Josh sticking his tongue down Claire's throat.

I knew he would hurt her. I didn't think he would beat her, but I guess he is just a lot lower than I thought.

Claire and I sat in a comfortable silence for a long while under that tree where we met. I remember that day so clearly, I was upset with Mimi for something so I went into Strawberry Fields when I saw a girl who looked close to my age so I decided to go and introduce myself.

It was not dramatic in the least. I didn't fall in love with her the second I laid eyes on her, but I think that's what made our relationship all the more special. We grew up together as friends for years, if I had feelings for her at that moment I probably would avoid her and I would come back when I started acting like a dick, around fifteen, shag her, then move on. But since we were friends for so long I grew with her and I slowly fell in love with her.

I never even began thinking of her until I was about fourteen or fifteen. I remember realizing she was absolutely gorgeous.

We were at my house in my room and we had just finished talking about God knows what and something just hit me. I looked into those big blue eyes and I thought "what a pretty shade of blue," and then I just observed her more. Her little button nose, her full lips, her long hair with the perfect mixture of light brown and blonde.

I don't think I really fell all the way for her for a little while longer but that is when I guess I started "crushing" on her.

After about an hour or two of laying under that tree in Strawberry Fields she shifted he weight and sat up from my arms.

"Shit," she said as she looked at her watch

"What?" I asked

"My dad he is probably awake by now and I'm not suppose to go out," she said while swiftly sitting up and brushing herself off.

"I'll see you tomorrow, get home fast!" I said slightly worried about what her dad would do to her

"Okay," she said and she was about to walk away when I took her arm and pulled her into a big hug.

It took everything in me not to kiss her right on the lips and try to make all the hurt disappear, but I settled for the top of her head as I always did.

"I love you so much Claire, you know that right?" I whispered in her ear

"Of course I know that and I love you to John," she responded

She squeezed me one more time and without another word she ran through the gates back to the hell that was awaiting her.

Claire's POV

I ran home as fast as I could so maybe I could get home before my dad was up. When I finally got home I opened the door as quietly as I could and immediately after I closed it I felt a horrible pain in my side and the next thing I knew I was on the floor.

"Where have ya been? Screwin' around I bet, you slut!" My dad yelled as we was standing over me.

"Dad, I swear, I was just taking a walk and I got hungry so I stopped for some lunch," I lied

"Likely story, now don't argue with me you bitch," he said and gave me a good kick in the stomach

I managed to get up off the floor but then a punch to the face from my dad knocked me down. That was followed by another series of kicks, punches and slaps. This was the longest beating he has ever given me, and one of the nastiest, he must be completely wasted. After a few hours he stopped and went out.

I just stayed on the floor and sobbed. My face hurt, my legs hurt my arms hurt, my back hurt my stomach hurt and most of all my heart did too. I was just exhausted, why does everything have to be so fucking hard? Why did my mom ever have to step into that car, why did my dad have to become such a drunk bastard, why did I have to ever meet Josh?

John was the first thing that popped into my head, everything bad that has happened to me has led me closer to him. You know how

people say that there is a bright side to every situation, well mines John. I love him with all of my heart, but he can never know that, not ever, it would be humiliating. He just sees me as a friend and nothing more.

Oh God, there is no way I will be able to cover up these marks with make up! Johns gonna be worried sick about me. At least I'm on break and there is no teachers giving me worried glances or pitiful looks. But John is going to blow his top. He was terribly upset when he saw my most recent wounds and those were half healed and not nearly as bad to start with. I'll avoid him for as long as I can but first I have to get myself cleaned up.

With great pain I got myself up and when I got to the mirror I was horrified! A dark and incredibly swollen mark circled my eye. My nose and lips were covered with blood and bruises were all over my body. This had to be the worst beating he has ever given me and it wasn't even the worst thing I have ever done.

After I cleaned myself up I stepped into the shower and let the water massage my aching body. I stepped out of the shower, combed my hair and put on some comfortable clothes.

I then went downstairs and saw that there was blood on the walls and floor so I had to scrub those up and then I did the dishes.

It hurt to move anything so immediately after I was done I went up into my room and took a much needed nap.

I was awoken my a tap on my window.


	6. Chapter 6

Claire's POV

I opened my eyes figuring it was just my mind playing tricks on me because of the exhausted state I was in, but then I heard it again and this time it was a bit louder. My bed was on the same wall my window was on so I didn't need to get off my bed to take a peak through the curtain to see what was making that noise.

I poked my eye that was not bruised through the curtain to see John on my roof shivering. It looked like he was going to wait there until someone opened the window, so there was no sense in giving him pneumonia waiting out there so I opened the window, letting him in. So much for avoiding him.

He came in and sat on my bed as he often did, this is when we would normally when we would sit and talk, usually about religion, or music and things like that. This time I was sure it was going to be different considering what has happened between us in the last 48 hours.

I kept my head down hoping that he wouldn't notice me shying away of wincing when he gave me a tight hug which made my cuts and bruises feel ten times worse.

"Claire," John said almost nervously "are you alright?"

"I'm fine" I say shakily and my voice cracking at the last word.

"Claire, look at me," he demands, I keep my head down.

"Claire," he says obviously agitated and I hated it when we fought so I figured he was going to find out eventually so I slowly lifted my head up.

"Oh my God," he whispers to himself

He looked at me blankly for a minute before scooping me up and carrying me out of my room. I was too sore and too weak to fight him off so I just let him take me,

"John, what are you doing?" I asked him, he didn't answer and just took me into the bathroom and set me down on the counter.

He looked at me for a couple of seconds before slowly removing the sweater that covered up my arms. I just let him do it. When he had the sweater all the way off and I was left just in my tank top, it revealed hundreds of bruises, gashes, cuts and scabs.

John very carefully picked up my right arm and turned it over observing all of my wounds and gently kissed my wounds up and down my arm. I closed my eyes tightly and held my breath to try and avoid sobbing loudly. I hated crying in front of people and I had done it countless times in just two days.

John noticed me trying to hold myself together and gave me a look that said "it's okay,". That's when I just started sobbing. He looked worried and pulled me into a hug, I continued sobbing into his shoulder leaving a wet spot in his shirt. I was embarrassed but he didn't seem to be bothered by it. I had calmed down and we just stayed hugging, he was running his hands through my hair and kissing my forehead before pulling away and looking at me in the eyes.

"Why don't you tell me these things, why do you feel the need to keep everything to yourself? Christ, I've known you since I was eight years old and I'm just finding out about all this shit you've been through. I love you so fucking much Claire. You don't deserve any of this, just promise me one thing. No more secrets. Can you do that for me?" He said softly

I respond with a nod.

"Okay could I just see all of your injuries because if they are bad Mimi might have some stuff to put on them," he said

I was hesitant of course I wasn't going to show him the wounds on my chest or anything but still some of them are bad scratch that, most of them are bad. And I have always been embarrassed by them. But then I remembered, no more secrets. So I slowly nodded.

He asked where they were and I told him everywhere, he showed a look of disgust, which made me feel uneasy about how he would take everything. I closed my eyes. He got down on his knees and gingerly rolled up my pants. He inspected every wound on each leg, it was silent except for the occasional small gasp from him or whimper from me when he touched a still somewhat-fresh wound. It took awhile before he was done with my legs but after that he rolled up my shirt stopping right under my breasts. I felt a bit embarrassed but his expression didn't change from the grim one we wore while he was looking at any of my other wounds, which made me feel a bit better. He asked me to turn around so he could see my back, I obeyed he looked at my back for a bit then I felt his calloused finger tips running up and down my back.

I felt a tear run down my cheek, John turned me around and wiped it for me and gave me a weak smile, I returned it. We just sat there, staring at each other for awhile, John leaned his head in ever so slightly then he blinked, as if waking up from a trance.

"Can you walk?" He asked. I wasn't sure if I could but I decided that I'll just tough it out so I said yes.

John helped me off from the counter and immediately after he let go of me I felt my knees go weak and my ankles give in. Before I hit the ground I felt strong arms securely wrapped around my waist. I looked up at him and gave him a grateful smile and he returned it with a nod. He picked me up and carried me back to my own room. God, I felt so helpless and dependent.

"I'm sorry," I said once he laid me on my bed.

"What in the hell do you have to be sorry for?" He asked

"Just for being so dependent on you, it must be annoying," I said

"You deserved to be pampered and never have your feet touch the ground. Don't you ever think that I'm annoyed with you because I never will be. Especially for having to carry you because you can't walk from getting your arse beat." He said with a serious tone.

There was a moment of silence

"Can you stay the night John? My dad won't be back until tomorrow evening and I just don't want to be alone." I ask

"Of course I will," he responds

With that, he laid down next to me in my bed and wrapped his arms around me. I fell into a much needed sleep while thinking of John.

**Please review! I know these first few chapter are a bit depressing but it won't be bad once I get further along so far this is about as depressing as "Precious" but it will get better!**


	7. Chapter 7

Claire's POV

I woke up the next morning with strong arms wrapped around my waist and a smile on my face. I was so glad that John had decided to stay the night I think I would just be moping around all day if he wasn't here, he cheered me up. Even though he wasn't awake yet I still felt happy with him just being there.

I tried to wiggle myself free from his arms, but to no avail. How could he manage to keep such a tight grip on me in his sleep? I tried one more time but just ended up giving up and lying on my back until he got up. That gave me time to think about things.

I loved John, I really did, but he is going to have to pay a major price for being there for me, of course he won't be there the way I want him to, but as a friend. Nonetheless he will probably have to face Josh and my dad. Jesus, how much more selfish could I get? Just because I want someone to comfort me I am bringing him into all of my shit and that will probably cause much more hurt and stress in his life than he already had. Why did I have to be such a baby and invite him into all of my problems? Why can't I just be independent and not have to depend on others to comfort me?

I was interrupted from my thoughts by John shuffling under the covers. I turn around to see that he is now awake. I give him a smile and he returns it.

"Good morning Ms. Jones," he says in a posh accent with a slight smirk

"Good morning Mr. Lennon, how do you do on this fine morn?" I return with my posh accent

"I'm quite well and you Ms. Jones?"

"Quite we'll indeed,"

It was nice that we could joke around, everything has been much too serious between us lately. It kind of struck me that not even twelve hours ago I was hysterical in his shoulder which was kind of ironic because now we were acting like nothing had happened. So I just broke into a fit of giggles which made John laugh because of the randomness of it, which made me laugh even harder.

After about twenty minutes of hysterical laughing we finally calmed down, trying to catch our breath and and nurse our aching sides. John wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. As soon as our bodies touched I felt a warm feeling in my chest. The feeling only grew when he kissed my temple. His lips lingered a bit there, my heart was nearly pounding out of my chest and I prayed to God that he wouldn't feel it. I wanted to kiss him so badly right then and there, I needed to control myself.

"I'm gonna go down and make some breakfast, is there anything in particular you want?" I ask while sitting up.

"Anything is fine," he says with a small smile

"Care to assist me then?" I ask

"It would be my pleasure," he says while bowing his head and I return the gesture by giving him a light smack on the shoulder.

We both get up and go downstairs, when we get to the kitchen I see a note on the stove. On the envelope it said "Claire" in my dads handwriting.

John's POV

It had been about two hours since I last saw Claire at Strawberry Fields and I was extremely worried about what her dad would do to her so I decided to stop by her house. When she opened her window and let me in she kept her head down, which worried me. When I asked he if she was okay she said that she was fine but I didn't believe it for a second. When she did put her head up I was horrified, she had a big black eye, and fresh cuts and bruises going all over her body.

I knew there were more and if they were anything like these ones they would need to be cared for so I took her into the bathroom and I saw all of the cuts bruises. I felt sick to my stomach. I looked up at her and saw her beautiful face, a beautiful face that was filled with hurt, pain and sadness, something a girl like her should never have to experience.

I don't know what got into me but I started leaning in for a kiss but then I kind of snapped out of it and realized what I was doing so I stopped.

I spent the night with her, by her request and I woke up to her her staring at the ceiling deep in thought. She turned around and looked at me I imagined this morning being somewhat awkward between us but it ended up being filled with laughs.

After God knows how long of laughing for know apparent reason it hit me again about how much I love this girl. I pulled her into me and I felt a spark when we touched. I kissed her temple and let my lips stay there a bit longer than usual she didn't seem bothered by this but she sat up and offered me breakfast. Obviously that meant nothing to her. I decided to keep things normal between us for the rest of the morning. But the giggles stopped when we saw a note from her father.

Claire's POV

I ran over it the note and picked it up after I ripped the envelope open I read it.

_Claire,_

_I have some business to take care of in London. I will be back in about two months. If if find out you did anything while I'm gone there will be serious hell to pay._

_-Dad_

I dropped the note and broke down into tears of relief. John looked at me with extremely worried eyes. I motioned to the note and without hesitation he picked it up and read it. He looked almost as relieved as I did and picked me up and set me on his lap.

Even though it was only two months, that is about sixty days of no abuse no drunk bastard running around your house and none of his friends trying to get into your pants.

At this point I had calmed down and John was rubbing my back and playing with my hair.

"I love you Claire,"

"I love you to John, and I can spend so much more time with you now that I won't have to see dad for two months," I said

There was about thirty seconds of silence

"You don't have to see him again," John said slowly

"What do you mean!" I asked very bewilderedly

"Run away with me." John said


	8. Chapter 8

Claire's POV

"John, don't be a fool," I said seriously

"Why is it foolish? It is perfect, your dad is gone which will give us time to leave, you'll be far away from Josh and your dad you will never have to see any of them again, run away with me Claire," he responded with a hopeful look on his face.

I sighed, great Claire now you've done it! I was worried about dragging him into all of my problems and interfering with his life, now I'm taking his life away, stripping him of everything he loves, his mom, his aunt, his band, his home, everything! I can't be a problem not if I truly love him, he may think he wants to do it but I know if he does he will be living a life of regret, and I don't want to see him stuck in an unhappy life because of me. No. I love him too much to do that.

"John, no," I said sternly

"Why Claire, I mean honestly, what do you have here other than a shit load of reminders of what a crappy excuse for a life you've had!" He screamed, immediately after he put his hand over his mouth. I just stared at the ground.

"Christ Claire, I didn't mean it. I'm sorry, it's just I want you to be happy and here, you won't be happy. Your dad will get back, and I'm positive that Josh is not done with you. It's not safe, I mean look at you for Christ's sake. Your beat, battered, underweight and I know that you aren't just hurting in the outside."

I looked at myself, he was right. I was covered in marks, I was practically skin and bone because dad throws all of our money out on booze so I really only get food when John took me to dinner or I had some money lying around. And I was unhappy but there is no sense in having John stripped from everything he loves.

"John, you're right, I don't have much of a life here but the thing is, you do. You have friends, you have your band, you have a lot of things that I don't have! And hell will freeze over before I let you give that all up. I can handle my dad and Josh, I've done it for all this time. I know you think you want to do it now but soon you will start living a life of what-ifs. And you know it would kill me to see you have a unhappy life." I respond

"But your life is unhappy! And it breaks my heart when I look at all of those fucking bruises and cuts and everything, I would much rather live an unhappy life than you live a miserable and dangerous one, besides my life won't be unhappy with you in it, but it will if you are miserable." He said raising his voice and choking back sobs.

At this point tears were streaming down my face and I was just staring at John. Was I making the right choice? He seems to want to do it but will he regret this decision? No this is not the right choice, he will regret it and what will I do, I'm fucking sixteen, haven't even graduated school yet and a runaway, what kind of life will that lead me to?

"John, I can't, you can't." I said with my voice cracking.

"Yes we can." He says to me in a soft tone.

"John, do you really think we can just pack up our things and go? I have school to finish, and you have your band!" I respond

There was a long silence. John seemed to be deep in thought and I just closed my eyes. Johns body jerked slightly and I snapped my eyes open to see him smiling.

"What?" I ask

"I've got it, I don't why I didn't think of this sooner! It's perfect!" He said

"Would you mind telling me what the hell you are rambling on about?" I ask with some irritation

"Claire, me and the boys have been thinking about getting a flat, just to make practices and writing easier," he said "and you could move in!" He said

At the moment and I couldn't think of a reason why I shouldn't move in. It would still be in Liverpool, I could continue going to school, and my dad will be out of the picture.

"I'll do it" I said

John's POV

She's doing it. She's moving in with me and the boys, all besides Pete, we've never really clicked with Pete. To my surprise, Claire gave me the OK to tell Paul and George about her past, so when I finished I told them that she would be moving in with us as well, and they were elated.

Now our next job was to look for a decent place with a good price. Claire found a job to pay rent even though we all insisted that she payed for nothing, we ended up on settling that she payed for half of what we pay.

I didn't like her working, the point of this was to take all the stress we could off of her life. And we succeeded with taking probably the biggest chunk, her dad, out. But soon her break will be over and she will have to balance finding a place to live before her dad gets back AND work AND school.

About a week after she started up school again we found a place for the four of us to live so I decided to surprise Claire by bringing her lunch at school and telling her.

When I got to Quarrybank I still felt the dread as I did every time I would walk into that building for four grueling years. I had to suppress a laugh when I saw those same teachers giving me disapproving glares as they did when I was a student there.

I arrived in the cafeteria and almost immediately spotted Claire. She was about to take a seat when I ran up behind her and tickled her sides.

"Oh my God!" She said.

She turned around and saw it was me and gave me a slight smile before pretending to scold me.

"You almost gave me heart attack Mr. Lennon, you filthy teddy boy," she said with her finger poking at my chest and in a posh accent.

"Well I am oh so sorry to have scared you Ms. Jones, I will just be taking my delicious fish and chips with me and be going, oh sorry to disturb you," I said while pretending to walk away with a slight smirk

"Oh no you don't Mr. Lennon, you should at least have the courtesy to treat me to lunch after almost killing me!" She said

"If I must!" I responded while dramatically putting my hand on my forehead.

We both sat down and dug in to our food. It worried me slightly how fast she was eating and how she didn't have a lunch before I got here, how long has it been since she has eaten?

"So," she said interrupting me from my thoughts "any particular reason you decided to bring me lunch today?" She asked

"Actually yes, I have some news," I said with a frown on my face, pretending to be upset.

"Well, what is it?" She asked looking worried. I broke character and grinned widely.

"I bought a house!" I said

Her eyes went wide and she broke into the biggest smile I have ever seen. She sat up from her chair, grabbed my hand, and raced out the doors and outside. Right when we got outside she screamed and started jumping up and down and dancing. I laughed and when she finished I clapped my hands.

"And she finishes with a perfect ten!" I shout,

"We actually have a house!" She yelled

I couldn't sat anything before she jumped on me and gave me a incredibly tight hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm done," she said quietly, I knew exactly what she meant.


	9. Chapter 9

Claire's POV

Today was the day. We had just finished packing up all of our things and we were now moving them into our new house. It was small and definitely needed some work to be done, but it lacked my dad and included my three brothers so I was perfectly content.

The new house wasn't far away from my old house but my dad is such a drunk there is a very small chance of him finding out where it is. But whenever I was the least bit worried John could see it in an instant and he would reassure me.

All the boys insisted that I get the biggest room, and I was fine with that, so I had plenty of space, which gave me room to put up a desk and a canvas. I have always loved to paint, it calms me and it is one of the only few things that I'm good at. With my dad I've never had too much free time to do it, you know clean up his mess or my cuts and then try to be quite and keep away from his friends, now that he is out of the picture I will have more time than I will know what to do with, so I'm sure I will get to do lots of painting.

By five in the evening all of the boxes were unpacked and each of us had a mattress on the floor of our rooms to use as a bed. I jumped on the mattress and stared up at the cieling.

I was away from my dad. I was away from Josh. And most importantly I was with John.

I was taken out of my thoughts by a pillow thrown at my face, I look up to see John smiling.

"Hello John," I say smiling  
"Hi Claire" he responds with a smile  
"Well, is there something that you want?" I asks with a amused tone  
"Well excuse me for wanting to spend some time with my new house mate, but I guess that's not allowed." He says and pretends to cry  
"Fine you git, come in here!" I say

Immediately after he jumps on the mattress and starts to tickle me.  
"John, I'm gonna kill you, stop it right now!" I say I in between laughs  
"Never!" He yells

After a couple of minutes he stops and I try to catch my breath. I sit up and turn around to face him, right after I do so he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me into a hug. I am not quite sure why he did it, but I think it was his way of kind of saying "we did it".

After a while I pull out of the hug and tell him that I'm gonna make some dinner. I was a decent cook but I'm freaking Julia Childs compared to these boys so I assumed that the cooking duties were going to be left with me.

I made some spaghetti and garlic butter sauce. After I yelled dinner I don't think I have ever seen three people run so fast, you'd think they hadn't eaten in days!

We ate dinner and had many laughs and old stories, when we were all finished I volunteered to do the dishes and the boys all went up stairs and practiced until I finished. I had just started washing everything when I noticed that we hadn't put a garbage can inside so we only had the ones outside. I finished washing everything and put all of the garbage into one big bag and I took it outside.

I put the bag in the can and dusted off my hands when I heard a much too familiar voice

"Well isn't it the little slut," Josh said

I froze completely, I was like a deer in headlights, even when I heard Josh's footsteps coming closer I still couldn't move

"Josh, what are you doing?" I said meaning to sound stern but it ended up coming out shakily  
"Just shut up," he hissed

He then put one hand over my mouth and the other around my waist to spin me around. Once I was facing him he gave me one of the hardest slaps I have ever received which resulted in me falling onto the concrete.

I was still frozen, I wanted to scream and squirm but I felt like I was trapped in my body. Josh got on top of me and with one hand covered my mouth and with the other held my arms together. He let go of my mouth briefly and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a knife.

"I'll use this if I have to," he slurred

He started to rip off my top and that needed two hands so he took both of his hands off me and all of the sudden all of my senses came back to me and with all of my strength, I made a fist and smashed it into the back of his head. He screamed and let out a string of obscenities, somehow, I managed to get him off of me and let out the loudest scream I could manage.

Before I could count to ten John had flung the door open and lunged himself onto Josh, Paul and George followed quickly behind him. By this time Josh was knocked out and John was still pounding on him. I started feeling dizzy and I realized that blood was pouring down my head. I felt as if I was going to fall over so I grabbed onto Paul. I told Paul to get John off of Josh.

They managed to get John off of him. I saw Paul and George pick up Josh and carry him away that's when I really started to sway and right before I hit the ground I felt arms wrap around me and pick me up. That's the last thing I remember.

**Short chapter, I'm sorry! Thank you guys for your nice reviews I love em'!**


	10. Chapter 10

Claire's POV

I awoke the next morning with an all too familiar feeling of piercing headache and a body so sore it hurt to move. I kept my eyes closed for awhile, but when I did open them I saw the sunlight peeking through my curtains, the sun was shining so brightly it had to have been noon or past. This was very unusual for me because I have always been a early bird and up by nine at the latest.

I rolled around and saw John sitting on my mattress with his torso leaned up against my wall. He had nail marks running up and down his arms and bruised knuckles. All of the sudden the events of the previous night came flooding back to me.

Josh tried to fucking rape me. Wait, that means he now knows where I live. Well isn't that fucking peachy. I shot up from the bed which caused John to wake up in a hurry.

"Claire, are you okay?" John asked

I just looked at him. He looked just about as tired as I was and he did absolutely nothing to deserve it. An overwhelming sense of guilt washed over me. If I hadn't been so stupid and stayed with Josh or bring him into the mess with my dad, his life would still be carefree and he wouldn't have those nasty marks on his arms or hands. It could have just been me, same as ever, but no, I had to bring other people into my sob story and now the people I love most would be getting hurt and this is probably not the last time this will happen, considering Josh now knows where I live.

"Claire?" John asked snapping me out of my thoughts. Just then I broke down and cried.

He scooped me up and told me that everything was going to be okay. I wasn't a fool, I knew this problem would continue and things wouldn't be okay, for me, for John and for Paul and George.

"John, I'm so sorry," I managed to choke out in between sobs, "I brought you into all of my shit and now you're all bruised up and..." I wasn't able to finish because John interrupted.  
"Claire, don't you ever think say that! You hear me? Never." he said started sternly but continued with a much softer tone, "You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for, I don't mind getting a couple of scratches for protecting you? Claire you are absolute gold and you should be treated like that. I wanted to rip that bloody wankers head off when I saw him on top of you. I wish none of this shit ever happened to you, and I can and will do everything in my power to make sure nothing comes even close to hurting you again, you hear me?"

I respond with a nod before he pulls me into a tight hug and a kiss on my temple.

"John, I love you so much," I say with tears streaming down my face.  
He holds me tighter and murmurs into my hair "I love you to Claire, more than you will ever know,"

John's POV

I was rehearsing with boys upstairs when I heard a blood curdling scream that sounded like Claire. The boys and I looked at each other for all of a half a second and then sprinted down the stairs and out the door. What I saw outside made me want to puke. Josh was pinning Claire down and tearing off her, already torn, shirt.

I threw myself on top of him and I wanted to punch him until his face was inside out. Eventually Paul and George dragged me off of him and I told them to take him to a bus stop. I turned around and saw Claire with blood pouring down her head and she was headed towards the ground. I ran up to her as fast as I could and carried her into the bathroom. I got a warm washcloth and wiped off the blood on her face and her hair. She had stopped bleeding at that point so I carried her to bed and stayed with her.

I sat up and watched her for as long as I could, making sure nothing bad happened to her. Even when Paul and George came in, telling me I should go to bed, I held my position. I felt that if I took my eye of her for a second something or someone would come in and hurt her. At about 4:00 I fell into a sleep, filled with dreams of different scenarios of what could have happened to Claire. It would start with her going outside then Josh appearing and him doing countless unspeakable things to her then he would hold up a knife to her throat and then the dream would start over except he would appear in a different way or he would do different things to her.

With everything that has happened to Claire, I felt so powerless, I mean I moved her out of her fucking house and yet her past still comes to haunt her. I would give up everything in a heartbeat for Claire to have not gone through all the shit she has. I feel like a horrible person for coming to her complaining about school work or Mimi or any little petty stuff while she would go home to her dad beating the living shit out of her and her boyfriend doing the same and sleeping around.

I awoke to Claire jolting up and looking very panicked, when I asked her if she was alright she didn't respond she just looked like she was zoning out, I called her name again and she broke down and cried. That made my heart break in two. She doesn't deserve to be treated like shit or told that she is nothing, I wish I could tell her how much I really love her and how much she means to me. But I know she doesn't think of me that way and it would just make things awkward between us.

When I heard her apologize I wanted to just hold her and kiss her. She has always been very self-blaming, I think it is because that she has been told that she does everything wrong from such an early age, but no matter how much I tell her how absolutely perfect she is, she still seems to think so lowly of herself and that if she is being treated well, she is a nuisance and if someone tells her that she is absolutely wonderful, that they are lying.

We laid together for the majority of the afternoon until she got up telling me that she wanted to do something. She seemed cheered up, that is one of the ways she amazes me, she can always seem to shake things off and cheer herself up. So she decided on making all of us cookies.

Claire, Paul, George and I went to the store and we got everything we needed. Paul and George seemed to be very surprised that she didn't come downstairs this morning sobbing but with a smile on her face. We joked around all day while she made cookies and we attempted to crack eggs but just ended up getting loads of egg shells in. When the cookies were ready we finished them in all of ten minutes and nursed our full stomachs while listening to the latest Elvis record.

After the record was over we just talked and laughed so hard our stomachs were hurting and our eyes were watering. At about eleven o'clock Paul retreated to bed and George followed shortly after. Claire and I were left alone and beginning to doze off on the couch when she spoke,

"I love you, Johnny. Thanks for the fun day." she said and I could practically hear the smile on her face.  
"How do you do it Claire?" I ask  
"What do you mean?" she responds with a confused tone  
"You can shake things off so easily and be so forgiving, I mean this time yesterday your life was put into question and you spent almost all day laughing as if nothing ever happened," I said  
"I don't know," she says after a moment of silence "I guess moping around never helps anybody, so once I've gotten a good cry out, I try to get myself to move on, suck it up a bit. I just don't want to seem so...helpless. I hate feeling like a burden and needing people to take care of me, so I just put my big girl shoes on and carry on with my life." she says slowly.  
"Claire you have to let people take care of you sometimes, you can't think you have to go through everything alone, you know Paul and George will help you and if anything ever bothers you I will be at your side before you can blink," I said looking at her right in the eyes.  
"John-" she started but I cut her off her by putting both of my hands on her cheeks and kissing her lips.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: I know I haven't updated in awhile I'm oh so very sorry! But I am having a bit of a writers block and also I have been drowned with homework which doesn't help too much :( I start my spring break on Monday so I should have plenty of time to make up for the gap! And i apologize for the super short chapter, I'm off my game aren't I? Make sure to read and review! Well enjoy lovelies ;)

Claire's POV

I was completely distraught this morning, I couldn't believe that I was so close to something so awful happening to me. After a good while of crying, I decided I needed to suck it up and move on with my life. People have it so much worse than me and I am sure they don't spend all day bawling their eyes out each and every day.

I actually ended up having a pretty fun day with my boys. We ran around the store and received many glares from all of the older customers (and workers) which of course made it all the more fun. We made cookies and got into a bit of a food fight when John shoved a stick of butter on Paul's nose. It really was quite the day.

But last nights events were in the back of my mind the entire day and every couple of hours it would hit me that he would probably come back. That part scared me to no end.

I would try to shove those thoughts out of my head and just enjoy the day while I could, but it was like a bad rash, it would just never go away. Despite my horrible lying abilities I was able to plaster a smile on my face all day. Not once did John, George or Paul looked worried about me. I guess it is because I have had to act like I'm perfectly happy since I was six whenever I was going through something awful. I don't like talking about my troubles, I always end up crying because those are such tender topics that are rarely brought up.

We finished baking and ate up all of the cookies before you could blink and had a ball. We listened to music, laughed our heads off as we all made fun of eachother. It was just like before this great big mess when we (not so much me but Paul, John and George) were carefree and could just be kids, I never really got a chance to do that.

It started to get late and Paul and George went off to bed. John and I were alone and I thanked him for such a great day. What I meant by that was to thank him for getting my mind off things. Then he asked me something that I didn't expect, he asked me how I can get over things so quickly. I had to hold in a chuckle. I most certainly did NOT get over things quickly, I just do a kick-ass job of hiding it. I told him what I tell myself to try to move on, that there is no sense in moping around and burdening everyone by being so fragile.

What he said next made my heart melt,

"Claire you have to let people take care of you sometimes, you can't think you have to go through everything alone, you know Paul and George will help you and if anything bothers you I will be at your side before you can blink," he said in the softest, sweetest tone,

I was about to tell him that I know he will help me if I need it but I shouldn't need it all the time. I got about two words in before his lips came crashing down on mine.

John's POV

I poured everything I had in me into that kiss. I just wanted to take all of the hurt away from her and I was hoping that I could take that all away, if I was not so lucky, and I probably wouldn't be, knowing that she doesn't like me like that, she would push me away and things would be awkward, to say the least, with us.

I was almost overcome with happiness when I felt her warm arms wrap around my neck. I pulled her on my lap and we stayed kissing. I deepened the kiss by slipping my tongue in her mouth and her tipping her head back. I moved away from her mouth and started kissing her neck. I wrapped my arms around her waist and I held her close, I felt that if I let go of her for just an instant she would disappear and I would wake up to find that it was just a dream like so many of the other dreams that I had about this moment.

Eventually she pulled away slightly, breaking the kiss. Both of us were breathing heavily and looking at each other right in the eyes. As I looked at her I saw once again her natural allure that never failed to amaze me, and I was overcome by this feeling of absolute love, usually this was accompanied by disappointment, knowing that she would never be mine, but not this time. This time it was with absolute bliss, because I was proven wrong and this is the first time I have ever been thrilled about being wrong.

"I love you Claire, I love you so much. You mean the world to me and I would be an absolute wreck without you around, you know that?" I said in all honesty, but regret it when she looks up with me with an unreadable face of which I think shows confusion. But all of my worries get washed away when she gives me the most brightest smile and places a chaste kiss on my lips before whispering,

"I love you to the moon and back John,"


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: Well there has been some serious fluff action going on, hasn't there? You see this is what happens when I try to write happy chapters they turn into crap, I tried but I failed in that last chapter, so I'll get into some of the nitty gritty stuff. Enjoy my lovely readers :)**

_3 Months Later_

John and I have been together for a few months now and we are enjoying every last minute of it. We have a hit a few bumps in the road.

About a month ago my dad barged through the front door completely wasted and enraged. I had been completely shocked. A rush of different thoughts were running through my head, _How does he know I'm here?_ _What will he do? Does he know that I'm living with the boys?_ The most prominent thought seemed to be; _Oh shit!_ I was unlucky enough to be home alone. I came to the conclusion that me must of saw me walk through the door with the groceries. He saw me on the couch and he just went on a rampage. He threw lamps, dishes, vases, pretty much anything he could get his hands on. What was the breaking point for me was that he tore up Gracie, my teddy bear that my mom gave to me when I was three. It was the only piece of her that I had. I broke down into tears.

He looked directly at me with his finger poking at my chest and said words that gave me chills,

"Only cowards run away, thats all you are a fucking coward. You might thought you were getting out of your problems but honey, they are just getting started," and with that he punched me, I slammed onto the ground and as I heard the door shut I watched the familiar blackness sweep over me.

Luckily the boys had gotten home soon after. George and Paul woke me up by splashing water in my face. I wondered where John was but it became clear once I could think and see straight.

He was pacing around the kitchen with his fists clenched, his face red and a expression I had never seen before. It was pure rage. Of course I have heard about the famous "Lennon Temper" but have never really seen it, besides the time Josh paid us a little "visit" but I don't remember that night too well and I choose not to think of it.

I walked closer to the kitchen with a rag held up to my lip to try and stop the bleeding. John had his back turned to me and was unaware of my presence. He was breathing heavily and punched his fist against the wall. I gasped and jumped back, John turned around and seeing me his expression softened and he held out his arms. Without hesitation I walked up to him and buried my head into his chest. I am very short only about 5'3 so John was a good head taller than me so he rested his chin on the top of my head.

After a while he asked, "Who was it Claire?" with a mixture of anger, pain and remorse in his voice.

"Dad" I responded trying to sound strong, I liked the idea of being a trooper but the exhaustion and pain that I felt reflected in my voice. John only squeezed me tighter.

Ever since then I haven't seen my dad or Josh. Which is a huge relief, but I am getting terrible anxiety over the whole thing. I would much prefer for it (whatever it may be) to just happen. Instead of knowing something is going to happen to you and you have no control over it.

I never told anyone about what my dad said that day. I knew, well hoped, it was probably just to get me scared but something in the back of my mind was telling me otherwise. I just didn't want to get John worked up again. So all I could do was hope for the best.

Paul's POV

I have really had enough of this whole thing. Claire left home to escape from her problem, and now they are just coming back to her. We all care about Claire (and we all fancy her at least a little bit) which makes it so much harder to watch her have to go through all of this shit. It would make me wince to see a horrible person go through the same thing, but Claire, she was the most good natured person you could think of, she always put others before herself and she had this amazing ability to take whatever problem someone else is going through and take just a moment of thinking, you could almost see the wheels turning in her head, and she would be able to give you the best most heartfelt advice. She was like my sister, we were about the same age, I was born in June of '42 and she born in July. She was our nurture and we all felt that we had to be her protector, and we were failing miserably.

I remember that day about a month ago when we came home from God knows where and when we opened the door we expected to see the usual, the house in its normal, slightly messy, state with Claire either cooking, baking or reading. Instead we came home to just about everything destroyed and Claire, unconscious and bleeding in the corner of the room.

Everyone had seen John angry before but to see him hurt was rare. He looked completely torn up and I was worried about what he might do. I told him to go into the kitchen for the time being while we took care of Claire, which he did immediately. We got her to wake up and gave her a rag for her lip, which seemed to be bleeding by the gallon and her and John took comfort in each other.

We all seemed to get over that incident but honestly, I think we were all still a bit scared and just didn't want to show it. We all did notice that John no longer left her home alone and he woke up early every morning to walk her to school every day and he was always right on time to pick her up, much to Claire's objection, mind you. She loved the idea of being independent and being able to do things by herself but I think we all realized that she couldn't do that, for awhile at least.

George and I always tried to do little things to cheer her up, we would get her a new record or we would take her to lunch. It seemed to work but the three of us all knew that they were temporary fixes and at the end of the day, she still had those problems and they were still scaring the living shit out of her.

Today we were all a bit worried.

Claire woke up this morning insisting that she wanted to go out and have fun.

"Maybe the Cavern, I don't know just something!" she said

That came as a shock to all of us. Claire wasn't a club person. The few times that she went to clubs were with Josh and that would usually end in him getting drunk, hitting her and sleeping with some random tart.

I looked over to my right and saw John who seemed to be very confused and looked to my left and saw George with the same face. On the other hand Claire was standing with her arms crossed and looked slightly annoyed.

"Guys, I came here to be a _kid_ for a change, I just want to have some fun." she said

That seemed to persuade all of us a bit. We all knew the final answer would be from John he thought about it for a few seconds and with a sigh and a slight smile he agreed. Claire bounced up and down and gave him a peck on the cheek.

That decision was a _big_ mistake.

**A/N: Sorry two other notes I know I'm being annoying but just wanted to let you know that to make up for the (somewhat) long gaps between chapters I should be able to update soon now that I have overcome my writers block. Anyways I would REALLY APPRECIATE a review thank ya' lovlies hope you're enjoying it.**


	13. Chapter 13

John's POV

We arrived at The Cavern around 9:00 and I was worried. The majority of the guys who go to The Cavern go for a quick and easy shag and with just one look at Claire you could bet on your life that you have never seen a prettier girl, so I imagine Claire will be getting a whole lot of unwanted attention.

I was determined not to have my arm leave her waist for one second the entire time but she was getting a little antsy. The more time we spent there the more she wanted to get up and dance with me as opposed to what we had been doing all night, drinking beers and sitting in a table and I was beginning to lose my patience.

"John, I came here to dance with you and have a fun time, not sitting around drinking. We could have done that at home and without watching everyone else looking like they are having the time of their lives!" she said with the annoyance clearly shown in her words.

"Claire, you know what might happen..." I started but she cut me off, "Exactly John! Might, not definite and not something to get so worked up about this could happen absolutely anywhere it will always be a risk for every single girl but that doesn't hold them back from living!" she said

The thought of what might happen if Claire and I went out to dance scared me. We would be dancing and someone would steal her away for a dance and her just simply not coming back. I didn't want to let her out of my sight for one second and the possibility of that happening tripled when we were out in that dark, sweaty, loud and crowded area.

"No, Claire" I stated with annoyance now showing in my voice. She cocked her head to the side and let out an impatient sigh. I could see her rubbing her the palm of her hand softly, this is what she did whenever she was trying to calm herself down, it usually worked like a charm but this time it seemed useless and she gave up.

"You know, John you're not my fucking parent!" she yelled

Now I was worked up

"Might as well be! Who will keep you from running right back to that Joshy of yours?" I yelled in a bitter tone. I knew I had stepped way over the line. I knew she was more than done with Josh and it just came out.

The look that she had gave me the biggest pang in my chest. Her eyes were welling up with tears and she was leaning away from me. Before I could shower her with apologies she had gotten up and gone far out of sight. I looked around frantically for her but she was nowhere to be found. What might happen to a beautiful, young and alone girl at midnight made me feel sick. In less than a minute I had gathered up Paul and George and we were off looking for her.

Claire's POV:

I walked out of the club as fast as my feet would carry me. I couldn't believe John, of all people, would say such hurtful things to me. He is acting like I would just go back to any man who offers himself up, like I'm some sort of slut. John of all people.

Tears were streaming down my face heavily as I walked and eventually I was sobbing. I decided to take a detour home so John wouldn't follow me. Still sobbing, I cut through an alley way which lead to a short street, which lead to another alley. As I entered the second alley something seemed...off. The feeling only increased when I heard footsteps coming up behind me. I picked up my pace, but without running. When I heard a voice that now makes my skin crawl, my heart stopped.

"Well isn't it little miss Claire?" Josh said with an almost amused tone.

I didn't stop walking, I only walked faster. I heard his footsteps quickening as mine did. I was running at this point, I still couldn't beat him. I felt his clammy hands grip onto my shoulder and harshly spin me around. I almost puked.

"Aren't we looking pretty tonight?" he said

I struggled against his grip, but it only tightened no matter how much I struggled it seemed as if all hope was lost for me.

"No John around to protect you, eh? The bastard finally left you, knew he would come around eventually and treat you like the piece of shit that you are. Now we are going to have some fun. Just like old times, what a good fuck you were." he said while his hands were cupping my face.

He shoved me against a wall and banged my head against it repeatedly. I felt the warm blood crawling down my skin. He punched my stomach, legs and face before ripping off my dress in one swift motion. I struggled as much as I could but at this point I was even weaker than usual because of the pain I was in.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," he said as he saw me struggling, I contined

"Fucking stop!" he screamed, I continued. Not so smart.

He punched me with all of his force in my stomach three of four times, then gave me another punch in the face which gave me a blow to the nose and one to the back of my head from banging back against the wall.

I felt myself going out. He sensed it too.

"Stay awake," he said while kissing my neck, I learned my lesson about disobeying him so I tried to, but I still felt my eyes closing and a dizziness overwhelm me.

"I said stay fucking awake!" I just couldn't do it. I felt my knees go weak.

"Fine, I'll put you right to sleep then!" he shouted and then pushed me to the ground and punching me yet again on the face.

The rest was black.

I woke up, however long later, not being able to move. I looked around at my surroundings, I was still lying in the same alley, the sun was beginning to come up, and to my left all of my clothes were in shreds. I tried to move but a unbearable pain hit me like a storm whenever I tried to move anything. I needed help. Now.

I did an army crawl hoping to get to the street. Every time I would move just a bit the pain was just unbearable. I let out a quiet scream as I put my weight against my stinging arm. I started to get a bit louder as I kept crawling because it just kept hurting more and more. I was about to give up because I was about to pass out from the pain when I heard a voice that might as well been God himself, John.

"Claire?" he shouted, his voice sounded exhausted and weak, he must have been searching for me all night. Then I heard George and Paul's voices call out my name, they were getting closer.

"Here," I tried as hard as I could to scream but I came out as a quiet croak, they didn't hear me.

"Here!" I said a bit louder but not loud enough. I needed to get their attention. I looked to my right and saw a garbage can that was within arms reach. I reached over as far as I could and knocked it over with a loud bang, the garbage can was now right next to me.

"Claire? Is that you?" John shouted, I just banged on the trashcan as loud as I could.

John, George and Paul were coming closer, I could hear their footsteps. The last thing I remember was John's soft pain filled voice,

"Oh my God, Claire,"

**A/N: Well here it is, I won't be able to update for awhile after this my friends because I have exams next week that will keep me plenty busy and the week after that I am going on vacation and can't access a computer, so I hope that will keep you set for a while. Thank you all my lovely readers ;)**


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: Oh my goodness I am so sorry, I have not updated in FOREVER! Before you read this very overdue chapter, I have to thank somebody. This chapter would have been even more overdue if it wasn't for the very lovely RoseByAnyOtherName215 she gave me amazing advice! If you haven't checked out her story Free as a Bird you are missing out BIG time, it is spectacular! Please Read and Review for me! Now without a further wait...**

Claire's POV:

Everything was black. It was silent except for a steady beeping, having no idea where it was coming from, I tried to wake myself up more, as I did so I heard soft and unrecognizable voices. I strained my ears to get a feel as to what they were saying and who was saying it,

"...severe concussion, punctured lung broken rib and severe bruising to the inner thigh, other than that just light bruises and a bloody nose. We have already given her oxygen for the punctured lung she will just have to be careful for the next few weeks, that goes for the broken ribs as well. The bruising will go away completely in a month, maybe two, as for the concussion we won't be able to tell until she wakes up..."

_God, who are they talking about? They sure got the shit knocked out of them._

"Mr. Lennon, after Claire wakes up I want her on bed rest for two weeks minimum to avoid further injury."

_Wait a fucking minute. They are talking about me? And John is here too, what the hell happened? Now I really need to get up._

I mustered all the energy I could and slowly, but surely, lifted up my eyelids.

"Claire? Claire? You're awake!" John started, you'd think that I would be more than happy to hear his voice but I didn't realize until he started talking that I have a headache with equivalent of a knife being driven through my forehead. "My God, I'm so sorry this was all my fault I should've never got in that fight with you-" John continued but was cut off by a tall middle aged doctor.

"You're upsetting her! Keep your voice down!" he scolded "Betty, get in here, the girl is awake," he said with his head poking out from the door.

Not a minute afterwards a short and plump woman comes walking in and gives both John and I warm smiles. I still have no idea what the hell is going on, other than the fact that it hurts like hell to move a single muscle.

"Hi, honey," she says giving me a motherly smile which makes me warm up to her a bit

I am still unable to speak I can't find the strength to and I think she understands because she continues speaking.

"I'm Betty, your nurse," she starts, I glance over at John, he is staring at me with worried eyes and heavy dark bags under them, something bad must have happened.

"Sweetie I am here if you need anything at all, okay?" I nod.

"I have to ask you some questions is that okay?" I nod again.

"Do you know why you're here?" I shake my head.

"Thats fine, can you tell me about the last thing you can remember?" Great. I have to speak. I gather up my strength and start talking quietly,

"I...I was at...God, where was I? The Cavern...I think," I start, she nods her head telling me to go on.

"I...wanted to dance, but...John wouldn't let me, so I ran out of the club...I can't remember anything after that." I say slowly,

I see John throw his head down and look at the floor, he seems ashamed. That we fought? It wasn't a big deal.

"That's very good, you're doing great. Those are all the questions I have for you, okay. Now you get some rest and in about an hour there are going to be a few policemen here to talk to you, don't worry, you are not in any sort of trouble, it will all make sense soon." she said softly before walking out the door, muttering something along the lines of "the poor thing".

I look up at John and smile weakly, he returns it and comes to sit on the side of my bed.

"Johnny, what's going on?" I ask with my voice cracking.

"Oh Claire," he says weakly before burying his head in his hands and sobbing.

I have seen John cry before, never sob. Now I really need to know WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED.

I wanted to comfort John, hug him, kiss him and tell him everything was going to be okay. But I couldn't if I moved a bit I would scream out in pain and God knows, that would not help the situation. So instead I reach my hand out as far as I can, which is enough to touch his. He grabs onto it and holds my hand tight.

"I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry," he says

"John why are you sorry? What the hell is going on?" I ask

"I can't tell you. The police officer has to, the stupid bloke says its protocol," he says "Get some sleep love, you need to rest, it's going to be a rough night," that scares me a bit what does he mean by "rough night".

Besides my suspicious thoughts I listened to John and took a nap, it only seemed like seconds afterwards that there was a knock on the door

John got up and opened it, sure enough there was two policemen. They seemed like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. One very stern and rather posh looking, just the kind of person John and I love to make fun of, the other one had a more kind face and looked a bit unsure with his back slouched.

"Hello, Ms. Jones" the posh looking one starts, I have to suppress a laugh because that is what John would say to me if we were making fun of people like him, "I am Officer Smith and this is Officer Newberry we are going to explain to you why you are in here and then ask you a few questions, understand?" He says and I respond with a nod and a quiet yes.

"After your fight with Mr. Lennon you left the nightclub and proceeded down the street..."

Once Officer Smith mentioned Josh's name I had a feeling as to what happened, and of course, I was right. They told me that they didn't have any details about what exactly happened other than that I was raped and pretty much beaten to a pulp. They also told me that soon my memory will come back and I will be able to explain, but I'm not sure I want to remember that night. I don't even know how many nights ago that was.

After Officer Smith told me everything he left quickly and after giving me a pitiful smile, I seem to be getting lots of those, he left, leaving me to sit in shock and John to shower me with apologies.

As John kept claiming that it was all his fault and that I should leave him, I felt hot tears fill up my eyes. Josh got his way, he got what he wanted from me and left me injured on the inside and out, along with John thinking he doesn't deserve me.

"John, stop!" I say rather suddenly, immediately he shuts his mouth "In no way is this your fault, do you hear me? I got involved with Josh, you had nothing to do with it, and Josh did this not you! So just shut up and hold me!" I said starting to sob at the last part.

He slowly and carefully comes and lies down next to me, wrapping his arm around my waist. It stings from the raw bruises but I don't move him, it feels better with him next to me. For the next hour or so I stay and sob into his chest.

When there is a knock on the door he get up and opens it, of course, it's my boys.

George's POV:

This is fucking insane. You see this kind of stuff in the papers happening to people you have never heard of, not your mate's girl or much less your virtual sister. When we found her last night we all seemed to have different emotions, John had this sense of protectiveness accompanied by a huge rage, Paul seemed devastated and I was just shocked. I have never seen someone like that before, there was just blood everywhere and all of her clothes were ripped to pieces and she just seemed...deathly.

John took off his coat a wrapped her in it and, since we didn't have the car with us, ran all the way to the hospital. When we got there she was taken away and John almost got kicked out because he threatened the doctor when he wouldn't let John come with Claire.

We were allowed to go in after about four hours in the waiting room. Claire was covered with bandages and hooked up to an IV. John grabbed a chair a moved next to her bed, holding her hand. Paul and I figured he would want to be alone with her so we left.

We came back the next morning to find her awake and with a red face and eyes, I guess she knows what happened. We set down the flowers we got for her on a the desk and gave us a small smile with her chapped lips.

We made small talk before a nurse ushered all of us out saying Claire needed some rest. I was sure John was going to explode on her but instead he kissed Claire on the cheek and obeyed the nurse without another word.

Claire's POV:

The same nurse from before interrupted the rather awkward conversation between the boys and I saying that I needed rest, but stayed in the room and sat in the chair next to my bed.

"You okay, baby?" she says, I nod.  
"I know it's hard, do you need anything?" she says motherly  
"No, not at the moment." I respond  
She stays silent for a minute.  
"I know kids are really stupid sometimes," she states  
"Yeah, they really are" I say sighing, "Do you have any kids?" I ask  
"Mmhm, and got some grandbabies too," she says, I smile  
"How old are they?" I ask  
"4, 6 and 10" she says smiling with pride.  
I nod, I have always loved kids and dreamed of having some of my own since I was a little girl.

We get into a long conversation about kids until she hears a doctor call her name.

"Duty calls," she says with a wink and exits the room.

I wake up screaming, sweating and breathing heavily. I remembered. I remembered everything.

John woke up with a jolt as I cried in his arms.

"What is it?" he said running his fingers through my hair  
"I...I...remember...what Josh...did" I say in between sobs  
"Shhhh it's going to be okay," he says after a bit of a silence

I really hope it is. I hope Josh rots in prison. I hope I can move on past this and I most certainly hope John can too.


	15. Chapter 15

**Guess who is doing another spam? This girl. Alright another fic that I HIGHLY recommend, Bright Are The Stars, very good John fic which you should read because you know, it's John, and a good one at that! Anywho sorry for the short chapter but enjoy ;)**

The next morning was a bit of a blur. I had to tell Jekyll and Hyde everything, that was not much fun. I wish I could tell someone I'm close to like John or even Betty, my nurse, and they would just report back to the detectives, instead of having to talk about virtually the worst thing that has ever happened to you, to the seemingly emotionless Officer Smith and the bashful and nervous Officer Newberry.

What made matters even worse is that due to protocol, once again, John and I have to keep things from each other, including what happened that night. It wasn't until I explained to Jekyll and Hyde what happened that John got to hear. He wasn't even suppose to hear that, he was supposed to leave the room while I explained every detail to complete strangers while John, and everybody else I have known for years get a "brief description", if that. But after much insisting on both John and my part, he got to stay.

I can't figure out if that was a good idea. It made things more bearable to have somebody there to hold your hand throughout the entire ordeal but it also made it harder, because as I was talking and looking over at John, I realized that John was going to blame himself for the entire thing. He will find some way to root this back to being his slip-up. he would think "If I didn't...Then Josh wouldn't have...and this would never have happened,". In his mind it was all just like a set of dominos and he was the first one to fall over. Not Josh. Not me. That's what what kills me the most.

If you do think about it I was the domino to fall over.

I got involved with Josh.

I got offended too easily.

I ran out of the club.

I wasn't strong enough to fight off Josh.

While John always seemed to be getting me out of these formidable situations.

John convinced me to leave Josh.

John convinced me to get away from my dad.

John saved me from dying from frostbite that night.

John fought off Josh the first time he tried to rape me.

If anything, I am the root of the problem and John is the solution.

"Honey, we have a few tests to run on you," Betty's warm voice says, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Alright," I respond somewhat reluctantly because of the immense pain I feel every time I moved, much less stand.

Right after I fidgeted just a bit in attempt to get up, Betty tells me not to move a muscle and comes in with a fit male nurse who is wheeling in a wheelchair.

"We don't want you walking any further than your bathroom until your legs heal," she explains. I nod and smile. Before I know what's going on, I'm being lifted up by, who I learned by his nametag, Nick, and being placed in a wheelchair. i give a small smile to him and he nods and smiles back before swiftly exiting the room.

"He's a quiet, he is," Betty says "Just started last week and has been trying to be the star student," she continues chuckling, "Alright missy are we ready?" she asks cheerfully.

"Yes ma'am," I respond with a smile, even though getting blood drawn isn't something to be smiling about.

I had a needle stuck inside my arm and I was out of there in about five minutes with an aching arm.

When I came back into the room John, George and Paul were sitting, waiting for me.

"Well this is a happy surprise," I said

"What, did you think we've forgotten you?" Paul asked with a smirk.

"I was beginning to wonder," I responded returning the smirk.

"Claire, we could never forget youuuuuu" George says with that huge smile of his.

"Alright, enough messin' about," Betty says despite her large smile. "Let me get Nick to lift you back into bed," she finished.

"I'll do it," John says standing up with a confident grin, I roll my eyes playfully. He walks over to my chair, picks me up and places me on my bed.

"Now what would you ever do without your lovely Johnny boy?" John says batting his eyelashes dramatically.

"Oh shut up!" I say sticking out my tongue and scrunching my nose.

Betty shakes her head, smiling before leaving the room.

"So what were you doing?" Paul asks

"Just getting some tests for God knows what," I respond, raising my eyebrow when I see John shift uncomfortably in his chair.

"John?" I say looking at him pointedly, with a teasing smirk which fades quickly when I see the serious nervousness in his eyes.

"Paul and George will you excuse us for a few minutes?" I ask monotonously, they nod solemnly and get up, shutting the door behind them. John gets even

more nervous and starts to get up.

"Wait right there, what is going on?" I ask suspiciously.

"Um, it's nothing, don't worry about it," he says with his eyes moving in different directions.

"Well I have to worry about it now that you've gotten me all invested," I say smiling, John doesn't return the smile.

"I was told not to tell you," He says evenly

"And why would that be?" I ask clearly annoyed

"They said you don't need to know, and frankly, I agree with them!" he exclaimed suddenly.

"John, don't you think I have a right to know what is being done with my blood?!"

"You know I'm only doing this to save you from anymore stress and-"

"Maybe I don't want to be shielded or coddled! Maybe I'm sick of being treated like a fucking piece of glass, when in actuality, I'm a person, a pretty strong person at that, who has been able to handle doing things by herself for a long, long time, so I'm sure as hell I can handle what's going on in a freaking hospital!"

There was a long silence.

"They think you're pregnant with Josh's kid,"


	16. Chapter 16

W-what," I stammered  
"Christ, I knew I shouldn't have told you, you just need to focus on healing, forget I said anything." he responded running his hands through his hair.  
"Well how exactly am I suppose to forget that I'm fucking knocked up, John? Much less with Josh's kid! Christ, I'm only sixteen! I still have school! You and Paul and George with a baby in the house...Oh God! i will have to work full time and buy myself a new place-" I rambled before John abruptly cut me off.  
"Stop!" he screamed.  
There was a silence.  
"They don't know you're pregnant, just there was no sign of Josh using protection,"  
Bastard.  
"So just calm down and clear your mind, okay?" he said softly.  
"I can try," I said laughing bitterly,  
John buried his head in his hands and rubbed his face.  
"You know I love you more than anything right?" he says quietly.  
I sigh and smile slightly "Yeah John, I do,"  
"And you know if these tests come back positive, I will love you just as much. And there is no way in hell I'm letting you move out, because I can't live a minute without you. You are the only person who hasn't left me, and I just don't want to loose you, okay," John says in the same soft tone.  
Although John in a very kind, compassionate and soft person on the inside, he has always had trouble with lifting that exterior and showing that side of him. Even with me. So these sort of word are rare, and make them all the more special.  
All of the hurt I have been through this past week and all the stress of the possibility of having a baby seemed to melt away with those soft and subtle words, and were replaced by a feeling of complete and utter happiness.  
When you grow up with a background similar to mine you would understand that nothing can mean more, and nothing can make you smile bigger, or make you feel more special than having somebody tell you that you are important.  
The emotions seemed to take over me leaving me with hot tears welling up in my eyes and the urge to jump out of this bed and tackle him with the biggest hug he has ever received. But due to my injuries and my not knowing how to express my emotions all I could musters was a,  
"Thank you,"  
But it wasn't the kind of thank you that you say when somebody holds the door open for you, but the kind of thank you when you actually mean it. The kind that comes from the most sincere part of your heart, because that person actually impacted you. Not because it was polite.  
Apparently, that was enough for him, because he puts his head up out of his hands and looks at me,  
He just remains looking at me for awhile. I feel the heat rising to my cheeks. He smiles slightly at my now flaming cheeks before walking slowly over to my bed. Probably only taking seconds, but feeling like hours he gets to my side, and puts his hands on my cheeks pulling me into a passionate kiss, feeling just like the first one that we had all those months ago. I put one of my hands around his wrist while his hands are still cupping my cheeks. This is far from the perfect moment: in a hospital, all sore and bandaged up but all that is important is that I'm with John, and just John. Or so I thought...  
A loud knock on the door interrupts us,  
"Are you two almost bloody done in there?" George's annoyed voice makes us jump back and giggle.

* * *

The rest of the day consisted of  
-trying not to think about being pregnant  
-thinking about being pregnant  
-pain killers  
-eating  
-napping  
-dreaming about being pregnant  
-trying not to think about being pregnant  
-more painkillers  
-thinking about being pregnant  
-fake laughing  
-thinking about being pregnant

Surprisingly, John left first that day. I'm assuming it's because (a) he was stressed and didn't want to be in a stressful place or (b) he wanted to finally tell Mimi what's happened, having not done so already.

Anyways, I was left with Paul and George, which I ecstatic about being that my time with just them is few and far between.  
"So dear, dear Claire what shall we be doing?" Paul asks with a small smile.  
"Spin the bottle!" I joked.  
"Believe me, love, we would never see the light of day again if we played spin the bottle," George said.  
"And why would that be?" I asked knowing full well the answer already.  
"John," the said simultaneously, which caused us to burst into a fit of giggles.  
When we heard a knock on the door we composed ourselves so Paul could open the door without us looking like madmen.  
I was, I have to admit, shocked as to who was on the other side of the door carrying a dozen tulips. Pete.  
"Uhh...hi," he said awkwardly, shifting his weight.  
"Hey Pete, come on in," Paul said  
"Hi Pete," George said which I repeated with a smile.  
Although Pete was generally moody it felt nice that he would come to visit me.  
"I uh I brought these for you," he said holding up the flowers.  
"Thanks Pete, you could just set them right there," I said motioning to the desk that was piled with flowers of all kinds, mostly Hollyhocks, my favorite, and "Get Well" cards (the boys brought me flowers and the occasional card every day).  
Pete set them down and an awkward silence followed.  
"Listen, I'm sorry about what happened," Pete said breaking the silence.  
"Thanks Pete," I responded with a grateful smile.  
Silence.  
"So...how's the food here?" Pete asked.  
"DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THIS PLACES LOUSY EXCUSE FOR FOOD!" George yelled suddenly enraged.  
That led to George's twenty-five minute rant about what "REAL" food tastes like and, I kid you not, I have never seen this boy talk more louder in my life.  
He finished his rant breathing heavily and red faced leaving the rest of us in awe.  
"I'm sorry I just really like food," he said quietly with his head down.  
I swear on my life, I have never laughed so hard in my life.  
Paul, Pete and I are all in tears laughing while George just looking confused when Betty comes in saying visiting hours are over.  
With sighs and hugs the three boys leave.  
"Claire, I know you know what the tests are for," Betty says right after the boys clear out.  
"I just want to let you know that it is nowhere near a definite thing we are just checking, okay?" she says.  
"Alright,"  
She really does know how to calm me down.


End file.
